Another year

Me, at the command centre in the newsroom.

AND so another year is coming to an end. We leave another chapter behind and continue to hope for a better one come January 1, 2013.
 The Christmas week is always a slow week for us in the newsroom. Most people are on leave and even if they're not, most would be occupied with the impending return of schooldays in about a week's time.
 All said and done, my 2012 was a good one. Indeed there were ups and downs but here I am, writing this now, still very much in one piece and not much different from the person I was at the end of last year.
 I guess as we grow older, it gets a bit more difficult to put our finger at the meaning of progress, except perhaps in the spiritual sense. It feels like we've seen and done it all and that there's not much else to achieve except to continue living a happy life.


 I'm like that. I don't dwell too much on the past, except on things that has shaped me to be who I am now. I think of my late parents a lot and of the simple, hard but beautiful kampung life I left behind. All the things I've written in this space are of those that have provided me lessons in life.
 I realise that there are people who read my postings here. I hope you have been able to pick up a thing or two from them although my primary purpose of writing is just to chronicle my life and how I had seen things.
 I am not always right, of course. In fact, I have been proven wrong many times. If you had noticed, I do not preach in my writings since like everybody else, I have plenty of shortcomings.
 People say I am a cold-hearted person with very little compassion. Never once have I tried to make them think otherwise, for one simple reason. I can't be someone whom I'm not and I guess its a little late to change that now.
 We have our differences. We will always have our differences. But don't worry for I shall spend all my time looking for our similarities instead.
 I realise I should smile more often though. Almost everyone seemed to say that I hardly smile. Well, I'll try but that frown would not go away I think. Not because of anything, but the fact that I spend quite a significant amount of time in the hot sun.
 I was reconnected with old friends this year, courtesy of that addictive Facebook. It was fun, I mean many of those I was reconnected to were friends I had not met for the past 35 years or so.
 But in the excitement, I had to ponder for a while, wanting to be sure at all times that recollections of days gone by shall remain as just that -- recollections. I was afraid that we might be hoping that things would be as they were 35 years ago when in reality, a lot of water has passed under the bridge.
 We can never ever go back there. That I am sure. When I left that school in Kuala Pilah many years ago, I brought along plenty of happy memories which I have kept with me all these years. That's how I want the place and the people I met there to be remembered and hopefully nothing from the present day meetings with my long-lost friends would change that.
 Which explains perhaps, why in most of the meetings I've had with friends from that era, I was largely silent.
 Furthermore, 35 years is a long time and in the intervening years all of us have made strides in different directions. At times, I'd find myself running out of things to say rather quickly since age has eroded some parts of my memory.
 But I like the fact that my friends are generally well-off, in every sense of the word. Many are successful parents with children to make them proud. I like that. As a father, nothing matters to me as much as seeing my children becoming better persons than I am.
 A few of my old friends have left for good. My prayers are with them. I hope wherever they may be now, they'd always be in God's good care.
 New year resolutions? No. I don't have a grand resolution for 2013. My life is as simple today as it was those days when I was running freely in the backyard of my kampung house in that obscure corner of Negeri Sembilan. I'd like to keep it that way.
 But I've been trying to quit smoking several times now. Maybe I'll do that when the new year comes.