As I Turn The Final Corner

Me, on the last day of 2012

Well, apparently I'd turn 52 in less than a month's time. That means I'd be about 18,900 days old. And that’s a lot of days.
 I have outlived a Volvo car, arguably the most long-lasting car man has ever made, by some 2.66 times.
 While I am not about to succumb to a downhill ride, I am beginning to feel the strain of age. And somewhere in my mind, that date with destiny is always there. Like a car long after it left the showroom, I could feel certain changes to remind me of my age.
 Looking back, I remember that once I was a very active tennis player in college. I could play an entire singles match without much of a problem.

 While I wasn’t good at soccer, I was able to play some friendly matches and actually lasted the full 90 minutes. I could also have very late nights and still go to the office fresh the next morning.
 But those days are over. I stopped playing tennis about a decade ago. It was not so much because I could no longer last the entire duration in court, but more because some parts of my body was no longer able to take the punishment associated with the sport.
 In my case, it was my elbow. When the pain became unbearable, I just stopped playing completely. I stopped playing soccer much earlier and gave up badminton soon after when my ankles could no longer withstand the impact of jumping up and down.
 For a while I was into snooker and became quite proficient in it until I was sent to New York for my posting. They don't play snooker in the US.
 The only sport I play now is golf. I like the sport, not so much because I'm sometimes good at it but more so because of the sense of open space a golf course offers. In my line of work, I sometimes need to be away where its peaceful and quiet and a golf course provides that.
 I stopped going out for late nights long ago when I discovered that my body was taking a longer time to recover from the lack of sleep.
 I  used to travel  a lot because of my work, but these days I tend to try avoiding flying across too many time zones. It is taking me far longer to recover from jet lag. Besides, as I grew older, I discovered that I became edgy faster at crowded airports. Thankfully however, I seldom fall sick. Only the occasional headaches.
 I also found out that I don't drive on the fast lane on the expressways as often as before. These days I take my time and opt for safety instead, largely because I can feel that my reaction time is not as quick as it used to be.
 But one thing I haven't lost is my desire towards living. I always look forward to a new day and each new day still bring excitement to me.
 I must say that the past 52 years have not been plain smooth sailing all the way. Like everyone else I've had my fair share of ups and downs. But being the simple person that I am, every time I was down, I'd just look for ways to get up as quickly as possible.
 Like I've written before, I am now in the final leg of my career as a journalist. I've taken my interest in the profession as far as it could go. These days I enjoy observing my younger colleagues make their marks in the line of work.
 It has not been easy, I must say. The Press is still very much controlled in this country although I have always wondered why. But through the years, I have tried my best to operate within the parameters, knowing well that the loss has not been entirely mine.
 Journalism has a very important role in society. Once at the headquarters of the Tribune Publishing Co. which publishes the Chicago Tribune in Chicago, I came across a writing on one of the walls in the building.
 It says "To help society master their world through knowledge". That, I guess, embodies what our role as journalists are.
 We do not determine society's destiny. Society itself will decide the path they want to follow. We journalists do not make that final judgement call for them. Our role instead, is similar to that of a beacon of light, in that we shine on that path society chooses.
 I for one, have never believed that any state that shackles freedom of the Press would benefit. It is only a matter of time before society at large finds out the truth and decide what is good for them.
 These days a lot of people say that citizen journalism, such as those provided by bloggers and independent news portals, will soon take over roles played by the traditional Press. Perhaps so, but sometimes, I have my doubts.
 Citizen journalism has a long way to go before it can meet the standard of truth set much earlier by the traditional media. By standard of truth, I mean putting every information it has through the rigorous checks and counter-check processes before actually putting them online.
 Until owners of every blog and news portals are brave enough to write, publish or broadcast without hiding behind the veil of anonymity, society will have their reservations. There is a famous saying amongst us in the newspapering industry, "publish and be damned'.
 As for the state, curbing freedom of the Press may have disastrous consequences. The state is at the risk of ending up in a similar manner as the emperor in the fable "The Emperor's New Clothes".
 With the current advent of technology, it may also result in the state having a confused society, one that does not know what is right and what is wrong. A confused society is almost always also a non-progressive society.
 In my years as first a reporter, a foreign correspondent based in New York and later an editor at the newspaper I work with, I have seen a decline in knowledge among our society. Even more frightening than that, there is also a clear decline in the desire to seek knowledge. Sadly, our Press has been partly responsible for the shortcoming.
 We no longer have a Press who asks the difficult questions, who seeks the truth, who fights for the underdogs, who writes with much fairness and objectivity and who's passionate enough in efforts to build a progressive society.
 It hurts me to be writing about the robust economic growth figures projected by our economists, only to wake up the next morning reading in the newspaper about our children in the interiors of Sabah and Sarawak having to wake up at four in the morning and trek through thick forests to get to school on time.
 It saddens me to know that there are many wealthy and well-connected people using their connections to get their sons and daughters into fully-residential schools when I know that when the late Tun Razak Hussein first thought of such schools, he did so solely to ensure the deprived children in the rural areas would stand an equal chance of succeeding in life as their wealthier counterparts in the cities.
 And I would also think that the Press is not entirely blameless for the acute state of corruption in the country at present, largely because of our reluctance to ask the tough questions.
 Now as I turn what may well be the final corner of my career as a professional journalist, I hope for nothing more than the day our Press return to its original purpose of existence -- to serve the underdogs through the truth discipline.
 Maybe I won't see that happening in my lifetime but I am beginning to see changes within society itself. The process could well be tumultuous but I am very sure that our society and ultimately our motherland will benefit

ENDS.